So now that I’m “on the path of healing” I’m finding one area I struggle with; emotions. Being someone who struggles with depression and other mental illness it’s a slippery slope falling into the hole of emotions. The past month since my attempt I’ve been in a really good place. That is until today. I found a new job and had to say goodbye to coworkers, who I’ve had relationships with and many memories. Almost 4 years of memories and it was tough. It almost feels like I’m breaking up with a long time boyfriend.
So here is the question I’m personally dealing with. How much am I supposed to feel? What are true emotions and how much it too much? How much is too little? Is it normal to feel sad after leaving a job like I did? I’m sure it is but there is almost a little paranoia that I’m not allowed to feel sad because it makes others worry about me.
Here is the thing, I want to feel sad. I do feel sad. I’m also happy, excited and scared about the new adventure I’m going to be working on but but just today I feel a little sad. I just hope everyone around can understand that I’m allowed to be a little down, because I already have enough worry, I can’t keep worrying about controlling normal emotions out of fear of scaring them.
So here is to a new life and new beginnings.